You need to know how your parents moving will affect you
The reality of your parents moving starts
GARAGE SALE – 2 blocks ahead on left. You could see your Dad’s precise lettering on the sign as you drive down the street to their home – your old home. It was really going to happen. They are going to sell your old home. Someone else would be using your room. No more retreats and quick naps in that room you loved so much. So many memories that you’ll never get to relive or tell your children about. Wait – the house is already sold. That’s why they’re having the garage sale. You didn’t realize just how much your parents moving would affect you. How did you miss that?
You understand the reasons for it
Yes. Mom and Dad are downsizing. You realize that the house is way more than they need right now. The upkeep on it is too hard for them. They need to live in a smaller home. They want you there today to pick up any of the things you left behind that you want to keep. You try to think – to remember – what is there?
But your recollections are interrupted by the bigger news. “They are MOVING.” Not just moving. They are going to live in Florida. That’s a zillion miles away. No more Sunday dinners together. Nana and Gramps won’t be there for birthdays, dance recitals, baseball games. It doesn’t seem right. You aren’t ready for this.
Your parents moving affects the whole family
The whole family is going to be there today. “We want you all to pick out anything you want now.” They said. “Everything else is going to be sold and what doesn’t sell, goes to charity.”
While you’re secretly crying “NO” inside, they’re excited about the move. They see it as an adventure. You can understand their reasoning. Better weather; lower taxes; cheaper housing; and the opportunity to make new friends with common interests for them at this stage of their life. Dad’s talking golf and fishing. Mom – well she hasn’t said much but she smiles a lot. You know her well enough to realize that she’s going to miss family and the grands. But she realizes that now, living on a fixed income, they need to save in any way possible. For your parents, moving is necessary.
You try to start coping with your parents moving
Okay. It’s a two-day drive but only about 4 hours by plane to get there. The grandchildren are already looking forward to going to Disney World, Epcot, Sea World, Christmas village. And today with SKYPE and your parents both using computers, we should be able to stay in touch regularly. Maybe the parents moving won’t be as bad as you are thinking.
You share your concerns with siblings
There are already cars parked along the road near the house. You park and immediately see your brother and his family. One look and you know he understands just what you’re feeling too. Yes, we both left home, but, Mom and Dad are leaving home too?
Your parents work to help you deal with today
Then Mom is there. A quick hug and she asks if you could help with the pricing of things. She really looks like she has things in hand. Groups of items with one price are placed together. Large furniture pieces all seem to have prices on them. “Is there more in the house?” you ask.
Looking toward the front door, you see your Dad struggling to bring out a large chair. Both you and your brother rush to help and then stop short. This is your Dad’s chair. How many nights do you remember seeing him sitting in it watching TV? And he’s putting it out to sell?
You’ve read about this but today it’s hitting home. Now it’s happening to you. Your parents are relocating. No one ever said how hard it would be to you.
Nana understands the feelings that parents moving evoke
“It’s alright Hon.” You can hear Nana talking to you. “What you are feeling is totally normal.” Yes, the move is happening. And because they are far away there will be other problems in the future you will have to face. It’s going to be fine for now. When and if problems occur, you and your siblings will deal with them. Now – go help them get rid of their lifetime of memories. It’s hard parting with so much of their life for them too. This idea of parents moving affects the whole family.
Love, Hugs, and Prayers,
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